Isn't it funny how you perceive your colleagues at work?
As many of you know I started a new job 4 months ago and slowly but surely the black hats and the white hats are emerging, I am beginning to see the people I work with in terms of friends and enemies, I know it's irrational and counter productive but I can't help it and I suspect that it's the same for a great many people.
Sometimes the black hats make a miraculous conversion into the ranks of light and sometimes one of the righteous defects to the dark side but once the ranks are drawn they do seem fairly stable.
The question is, why?
People don't get up in the morning and say to themselves, "today I'm going to act like an arse, be destructive and obstructive and make everyone's life a pain" and yet they then proceed to come into work and do exactly that ?
I'm sure Hitler thought he was a nice guy, Same for Pol Pot and Stalin etc. so are these people deluded or just unaware of the impact they have on others? Is it ignorance or arrogance?
Anyway onto the important stuf, how do we handle these blockers?
Well, after more years than I care to remember, of dealing with Seagull managers I've developed a few strategies for staying sane.
1. When you get one of those stupid/annoying/pathetic/aggravating e-mails from your seagull manager write your reply as soon as possible and when you've got it all down in black and white hit the Delete key.
Yes you heard me, Delete it, all those lovely smart answers chopping the legs out from under him, all those sly digs pointing out how stupid his arguments are etc. get rid of em and breathe a sigh of relief.
Why?
Because they won't do you any good, that carefully worded diatribe will just more deeply entrench his views and add fuel to the fire, it won't do you a bit of good and in fact quite the reverse, do you want to win the argument or win the war?
Ok, now you've consigned your first flush of anger down the cyber drain you can pen a sensible calm and collected reply that achieves what you actually want to achieve rather than just score points.
2. Yes sir, you're absolutely right, I'll get on it right away.
Ok you know he's wrong, you know it's the wrong thing to do and the wrong time to do it but at the end of the day will it kill you? Is it serious enough to actually warrant arguing about?
If it is then by all means engage in a dialog about it if, you think you stand an earthly chance of changing his mind but if you do, then do it later.
Go outside and kick a box to death, you'd be amazed just how therapeutic kicking a cardboard box to death is, next time you feel homicidal grab an old box and try it.
Then come back and work out your arguments before approaching him, explain your thinking and your position and if he's still ademant ask him to drop you a mail so you don't forget, in that way when it goes as you'd expected your arse is covered.
3. Never, never, never put anything disparaging in writing, ever, at all, under any circumstances whatsoever, at all at all ! Do you think I've stressed that enough?
Always assume that whatever you write about someone will fall into their hands, this has happened to me enough to know how embarrassing it can be, I would save you that pain if I could.
4. When you hear something awful from someone else go to the root of it and get the facts, I can't tell you how many times I've lost sleep over a perceived issue that later turned out to be nothing, I'd have saved myself an immense amount of grief if I'd only gone to the root and used one of the most simple of tools best expressed in the following poem.
"I keep six honest working men, they taught me all I know, their names are WHAT, WHY and WHEN, and HOW and WHERE and WHO"
Rudyard Kipling.
In other words, asked.
5. Manage your manager, discover what it is he values and give it to him, if he values facts then speak in figures, this project is 72% complete, if he values feelings go with I feel comfortable with this one, we'll bring it in on time. If he wants forward planning then talk about what you are doing next month, if he wants blue sky, talk concepts, details, talk minutiae, you get the picture.
It will also help if you can get to know their interests and try and share them, I once spent a weekend learning about crown green bowls because my boss played every weekend, I then endured 1/2 hr every Monday about Jacks and Ends and our relationship blossomed.
Ok so I know that's sneaky and underhand, dastardly even but I tell you this, it works !
Try it.
So what else has been happening in the last month I hear you ask?
Well it's TT fortnight here so we've been inundated with hairy bikers on big noisy machines, now before I came here I had a rather jaundiced view of bikers and the prospect of being surrounded by them filled me with dread, I'm here to tell you though that there has been no trouble at all.
I took my Wife M, down to the Bay Hotel on Saturday to see a live band and the place was heaving with them, not a problem, I had to ask one to step aside so I could get to the bar and he cleared my path for me, "man coming through for a drink lads, clear the way".
By the way The Bay Hotel in Port Erin serves the best food I've had on the island so far.
There are hoards of them everywhere speaking every language under the sun, Japanese bikers are interesting, and there's nothing but good natured banter and lots or revving up going on.
The issue with the Japanese and Korean web agencies has developed a little, it transpires that the Japanese company have done a far better job, so interestingly the Koreans were better at customer service but the Japanese were better at the job, more to come no doubt.
Take care all,
John
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