Uncommon courtesy

I write this looking back at some of the managers I’ve worked for and wonder at how they got and kept their jobs, of course having read the Peter Principle I know how, but it still amazes me.
For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of reading The Peter Principle, its basic tenet states "In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."

i.e. the good production line worker is promoted to be a supervisor where all his production skills are next to useless and he has to learn how to be a supervisor, once he’s learnt enough to be a good supervisor he’s promoted to manager and so on until he finds it impossible to learn enough to become competent and thus ceases to be promoted, he has reached his level of incompetence.

One of the traits that distinguish great managers from human potato sacks is manners.
By manners, I don’t mean people who hold the door open for you, or wish you good morning – that’s politeness, and even evil things can be done in a polite way.

When I think about my best managers I remember their concern for me, their unstinting support and belief, their ability to help me to grow and their mentoring skills. What pervaded everything they did was their good manners: treating me how they themselves would like to be treated by their manager.

I remember meeting the first real manager of my life a now deceased and greatly missed gentleman called Arthur Lomasney, he was Superannuation Manager at St Georges Hospital, Tooting in the 80’s.

On my first day I was introduced to Arthur by the Payroll Manager, he immediately took my hand and gave me a warm welcoming smile. “Welcome to Superannuation,” he said. I felt his sincerity like a brazier on a cold night.

Before he went on to talk about the job he talked to me at some length about me - a fascinating subject for a 20-year-old. By listening patiently to my ramblings he convinced me in pretty short order what a wonderful man he was. As time went on and I came to know him, that initial impression was confirmed but I will never forget the effect he had on me when he first made me feel welcome.

If he was around today, he would say it was just good manners, but like common sense, I know it’s a human trait that’s rare. Arthur based his entire life on good manners, at work, at home, in love and war and though when he died he was not a rich man in the conventional sense his funeral was immense and the gap he left fathomless.

I spent a long time learning how to behave from Arthur, I watched him time and time again turn antagonists into evangelists primarily by using good manners.

Staff members would come to Arthur upset and angry, expecting a fight and ready for it, sometimes they would bring support in the form of union reps or spouses, sometimes they would be resentful, sometimes tearful and only rarely friendly and in all cases Arthur would treat them with care and consideration. He never let people leave feeling angry, and I’ll repeat that because it was fundamental to his method,

he never let people leave feeling angry.

I remember on one occasion a widow and her two teenage children came to visit us to fight about her pension benefits, they turned up bristling with indignation and if knives weren’t actually drawn they were certainly eased in their sheaths.

By use of his impeccable manners and wonderful people skills he soon had the situation turned around to such an extent that before they left he had them out in the lobby playing “Red Arrows”

The lobby in the hospital is a large square area with 4 lifts around the outside, about 30 foot square, Arthur’s game of Red Arrows involved four people starting at each corner of the square and walking towards the opposite corner, Arthur proved time and time again that people would instinctively avoid hitting each other and cross to the opposite corner and because of the coordination required he named this game “Red Arrows” after the famous flying display team.

How do you think they went away and what do you think they said to their friends and acquaintances about Arthur and the superannuation department?

Since Arthur I’ve enjoyed working for the good and the bad, one manager introduced another manager who stuttered, like this,

“You know Mike Noakes, Four M’s three N’s.”

I won’t forget that experience I can tell you.

Nowadays I try and emulate people like Arthur and avoid acting like the second manager, I send thank you notes, how hard is that with e-mail? He did all his by hand.

I greet people with a smile and a warm hand shake, I try and treat everybody like a guest in my own home and I try not to let people leave feeling angry.

There is insufficient space here to list everything required to have good manners in a business sense but I bet you can think of someone who has them, and a little side-bet that they aren’t languishing in the depths of the company.

So does having good manners do me any good?

Well if I tell you that I will shortly be leaving my current employer and joining another for double my current salary I’m sure you can draw your own conclusions.