this week's blog is on this saying "People don't care what you know till they know that you care." I don't know where or when I first heard it but I do know it has applications in all areas of my life.
From a customer service point of view it helps me give better service, from sales I make more, from leadership I get more co-operation, at home I have a better life etc.
It's almost as powerful as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" or as my lovely wife asked me the other day, "What does, do unto Otters as you would have them do unto you mean?"
So how can we put this simple phrase into action in our everyday lives?
Next time you deal with a customer try imparting some care into your phrasing,
I'm sure you must feel terrible about this let me see if I can help
I can see that you are very angry about this, let me see if I can sort it out with you
You look like you're looking for something, can I help at all?
You know I've got one of those at home and I use it every day, can I show you how it works?
By adding that dash of care you are identifying with your customer, they will quickly stop seeing you as a barrier and start seeing you as a solution.
It works just as well in the leadership arena.
You've obviously worked really hard on this let's go through it together and see if we can make it even better.
Tell me how you feel about this, I'm interested in how it will be received and I know you have your finger on the pulse
I've completely failed to explain this properly can you help me?
I can see your concerned about this let's grab a coffee and talk it through?
By using this approach you are stepping over the boundary between you and whoever you are talking to, you've seen that diagram about personal space and this is one way that you can move closer.
Ok ok I can hear you saying "I don't have time to do all that soft stuff every time I want something done" and to a certain degree I agree that it is not practical to always use this approach.
Now let me introduce you to something I really hate the Big Pointy Finger (BPF)This is a dangerous tool, needed at crisis points but should remain holstered at all other times
If the office is on fire it's no time to hold a fire warden's steering committee meeting, out must come the big pointy finger and you may have to give orders "everyone out, you do this, you do that" etc.
This is the antithesis of the caring leader's method of doing things however, I don't have a cute graphic for showing a caring manager but I guess if I did it would be of a concerned face and an open hand.
So why am I so against the BPF?
I look on it like a bank, when you are put into a position of leadership or indeed service you are given by dint of your appointment some coin of goodwill, those of us who wish to be successful will do all they can to increase this account of goodwill, spookily enough by spending it freely for like bread cast upon the waters it returns many fold.
We keep this goodwill in the goodwill bank, that every person we interact with has an account at, we put coin into their accounts in many ways, not least of which by demonstrating our care for them and they put coin into ours in return.
Now all goes along smoothly until we start to spend more goodwill than we credit, we can spend the coin most effectively by using the big pointy finger but there are a million ways we can fritter it away, eventually we come to spend some of the coin of goodwill and find that the account is empty and that means trouble with a capital T !
If however we continue to accrue more coin than we spend when the crunch comes and we have to pull out the BPF, to get something done in a hurry for instance, we find ourselves in the happy circumstance of still having funds in our account and things go smoothly still .
Now when I was in the position of leadership I spent coin freely, built up huge supplies with everyone I came into contact with and yes when I found myself in a hole I had the reserves to spend to buy my way out, you can bet your bottom dollar that when the crisis was over I made some pretty rapid deposits too.
Yeah yeah yeah I can hear you all saying "It's all a bit airy fairy John" but I would urge you to consider putting it into practice.
There's a side effect that may encourage you, it makes your life so much easier and happier.
Ok so I hear some of you say my boss is a poor leader, uses the BPF all the time, I am demoralized and despairing, how can I put this into practice and how will it help?
Congratulations you are in an ideal place to see the beauty of the goodwill bank, next time the BPF comes out try responding with care.
"I can see this is really important do you think you could find time afterwards to explain it to me?"
"You know it's great to have such strong guidance but do you think you could find time to ex-plain the bigger picture sometime?"
"How can I help?"
Ok not easy I agree, I'm not always capable of doing it myself and I've been practicing for years, what's important is that you know what effect your attitude will have and make a conscious choice of which one to adopt.
If you are unlucky enough to be labouring under a poor leader, remember this.
No one cares what you know till they know that you care.
John Anslow
http://www.ffriar.com
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