Well as you know I was due to move to the Isle of Man on the 28th of February and indeed I did, and so did my three cats and all my furniture but there were a couple of things that didn't, my passport and my wife.
I have absolutely no idea where my passport went but I do know where Margaret went and sadly it was to Mayday Hospital in Croydon.
Margaret had been unwell for a while and the day before we moved she became so unwell we had to go to casualty at 9am, we knew what was wrong as it was a reoccurrence of her kidney stones and we duly informed the doctors who as usual took forever to turn up and then didn't listen, so after a battery of tests they finally decided she had kidney stones and admitted her at about 10pm.
I was sent home with a shopping list of clothes and necessaries to prepare for the big move, I couldn't delay it as we had tenants due to move in at the weekend, the removers booked the ferry booked and the keys to the new flat under a stone waiting.
The next day I had to cope with the removers packing, as well as see Margaret and say goodbye, leaving her to the tender mercies of a hospital we knew from previous experience would show her little to no care or consideration.
My sister Penny, bless her came over and supervised the packing and me and allowed me to pop down to Mayday and see Margaret for a tearful goodbye, I delivered the ordered necessaries and took my leave of my wife for god knows how long.
At last the removers were on their way and at 3:30 I stuffed the cats in their boxes in the car and set off for Heysham to the tune of MEOW MEOW MEOW.
Penny had so kindly offered to come with me but I declined as I was already pretty tearful with all the goodbyes and I couldn't prolong it nor inconvenience her so much.
Driving from Croydon to Heysham is not fun, especially to the tune of MEOW MEOW MEOW !
I finally arrived at about 10:30 only to find that the ferry was 4 hrs late due to the extreme weather conditions, force 8 gales in the Irish Sea !
I sat there in the 4 degree car park slowly freezing my balls off listening to the now thankfully silent cats and the radio, I can seriously not recommend Heysham Docks as a holiday destination.
At last about 2:30am we embarked and the first good news of the day came when a steward kindly helped me to the cabin with the cats, litter, food etc.
I'd sensibly booked a pet cabin so that they could come out and they were mighty pleased to do so as you can imagine, I fed them and littered them and went to bed.
Well the boat left, the Ben Machree btw, as is their wont and it wasn't long before we were out in the force 8 gale, now I don’t know if you've ever been out in a force 8 but I can tell you it's highly amusing to be clinging to a bed for dear life while a cat gets seasick.
Poor old Teddy was most unwell much to the amusement of the other two who were looking at him with that "you pussy" look on their faces that only cats and women have.
At last we arrived after hours of purgatory and no sleep, into the boxes went the cats, I washed up the bowls and the litter tray and another steward helped me back to the car before we drove off the boat and onto the Isle of Man proper.
I drove us slowly to the new flat unloaded the car and the cats and blew up my inflatable mattress, climbing into my sleeping bag I headed for dreamland as fast as I could.
Exactly 1hr 32 mins later the phone started ringing with people from work asking me questions, just as I was dropping off the phone would ring and eventually I gave up and had a shower and headed off to sort out my gas and electric.
God knows how I got through that day and managed to sort out my gas and electric bills as well as visiting the office and doing some shopping but I did.
I spent the next three days searching for my passport as I was due to fly to Dortmund the following Friday for the European Poker Tour German leg, I had to buy 5 self assembly shelving units from B&Q in order to get my stuff out of the boxes which the removers had kindly delivered on Friday but with no luck.
On Monday I went into work at 8am and started the business of catching up with the work I'd missed since Tuesday last week, my phone rang and it was Margaret with some terrible news, the doctor's had just delivered, as well as her kidneys they'd found an enlarged liver and spinal problems.
She was in a terrible state and consequently so was I, I'm not afraid to admit that I had to hie me to the loos for a quick weep.
My boss bless his cotton socks said to me it's more important to the company that I get my wife well than I be here in the Isle of Man and arranged for a flight home.
I rushed around getting the cats into a cattery and made the flight to Gatwick just, flying home took about 8hrs or so it seemed and I arrived at Margaret's bedside 10 mins after visiting time ended, the staff nurse obviously considered stopping me come in but decided against it and I was in Margaret's arms.
I spent three days at her bedside as the news gradually improved as did her infection and she came back to me, by Thursday I was able to leave her to her own devices for the day and went into the London office to try and catch up with some work.
By Friday we'd managed to get the doctors to agree to release Margaret on Monday if she had a good weekend so hopes were high as was her temperature sadly, but this went down over the weekend and finally at 3pm on Monday we hobbled out of the hated Mayday hopefully for the last time.
My company arranged flights home and we arrived in the Isle of Man on Monday the 12th of March, thank god Margaret loves the flat I chose and we're making progress towards the hospital here via the local doctor.
So here we are, alone and together in a bright new future on an island that is beautiful in the middle of the Irish Sea, come one come all it's lovely.
John
